You'd forgotten about this blog, right? So did I, for a while anyway. Do you ever get yourself in such a mental block, knowing you *should* write something or that you *want* to write but you don't let yourself? Then it makes the issue worse?
I have been avoiding blogging for several reasons. One of them being that stupid writer's block I occasionally get, another might be I don't have much time to do so. The honest answer has been that I've been down in the emo dumps over a few things that have occurred since Christmas.
I know I've said it a few times, but I have a university degree in Theatre, and I got into the program based on an acting audition I gave. (I later entered the playwriting program) So I had some acting chops and got into a program that was/is very difficult to get into. I never really had the strong intention to work in theatre. Quite bluntly, I love money too much and I like being comfortable. I knew that having a degree was more important than what the degree was in - for many jobs out there. Why not have fun while I force myself to go back to school? So four years later, after learning so much about theatre and writing, I moved back to Ottawa. Out of the 'broke as hell, but artsy' field I went and it carried me to retail in a goth clothing store, then to a grocery store, then a job in insurance of all things. After years of trying to escape customer service I ended up where I am now, in the gov't. So theatre isn't really in my daily life anymore and I'm totally okay with that. I just lost the passion along the way, I guess.
Then last year, I randomly went to a local community theatre's website and found out they were putting on a production of Rent. RENT. I lived for that show when I was 17. I would listen to the soundtrack ad nauseum. My friends and I at York would sing Take Me or Leave Me on Queen St W for shits and giggles. I did a terrible sing/dance solo to "Out Tonight" when I was 19 during my competitive dance years. (Yes I took dance for 15 years) I sang "Over the Moon" for yet another audition in my early twenties. Like obsessed. I think I even got a perm once so it would look like Daphne Rubin Vegas' when she played Mimi.
So I took a huge chance and decided to 'come out of retirement' briefly and auditioned for the production. I had practiced the entire day and was in the best vocal shape that I could be in, considering I hadn't sung in a long time. I sang the first part of "Take Me or Leave Me". I rocked out the high notes, got this look from the auditioners, and the pianist said "That was REALLY good." My friend was leaning on the door listening from outside and gave a really positive review. Love her.
I left feeling really good about it, hoping against hope. If you're an actor or singer, you know what this is like. That was the most tense and horrendously long wait I've ever had, waiting for the call or email telling me hell yeah or hell no. I was smart about it though. I prepared myself for no. I knew that I gave 100% at the audition and it encouraged me to keep going with music where possible. I imagine I'll get dejected enough to join a church choir and listen to my ipod for the sermon parts.
Well I didn't cry or anything. But when I got the notification that I didn't get it, I'll admit I had a few "How dare they?I thought they liked me. I was born for this show." moments but I got over it once I actually went and saw the show.
Again, this face. They did a very good job for a community theatre production. The girl who got the part I was after was very impressive. There were a few things that bugged me here and there, but I'm very set in my ways in how some shows should be presented. But a good show and it looks like they had a blast.
Ok so that's out with. Maybe I can get back to writing in this damn thing, now that the grudge has lifted and Spring is here. Be back soon.
I have been avoiding blogging for several reasons. One of them being that stupid writer's block I occasionally get, another might be I don't have much time to do so. The honest answer has been that I've been down in the emo dumps over a few things that have occurred since Christmas.
I know I've said it a few times, but I have a university degree in Theatre, and I got into the program based on an acting audition I gave. (I later entered the playwriting program) So I had some acting chops and got into a program that was/is very difficult to get into. I never really had the strong intention to work in theatre. Quite bluntly, I love money too much and I like being comfortable. I knew that having a degree was more important than what the degree was in - for many jobs out there. Why not have fun while I force myself to go back to school? So four years later, after learning so much about theatre and writing, I moved back to Ottawa. Out of the 'broke as hell, but artsy' field I went and it carried me to retail in a goth clothing store, then to a grocery store, then a job in insurance of all things. After years of trying to escape customer service I ended up where I am now, in the gov't. So theatre isn't really in my daily life anymore and I'm totally okay with that. I just lost the passion along the way, I guess.
Then last year, I randomly went to a local community theatre's website and found out they were putting on a production of Rent. RENT. I lived for that show when I was 17. I would listen to the soundtrack ad nauseum. My friends and I at York would sing Take Me or Leave Me on Queen St W for shits and giggles. I did a terrible sing/dance solo to "Out Tonight" when I was 19 during my competitive dance years. (Yes I took dance for 15 years) I sang "Over the Moon" for yet another audition in my early twenties. Like obsessed. I think I even got a perm once so it would look like Daphne Rubin Vegas' when she played Mimi.
So I took a huge chance and decided to 'come out of retirement' briefly and auditioned for the production. I had practiced the entire day and was in the best vocal shape that I could be in, considering I hadn't sung in a long time. I sang the first part of "Take Me or Leave Me". I rocked out the high notes, got this look from the auditioners, and the pianist said "That was REALLY good." My friend was leaning on the door listening from outside and gave a really positive review. Love her.
I left feeling really good about it, hoping against hope. If you're an actor or singer, you know what this is like. That was the most tense and horrendously long wait I've ever had, waiting for the call or email telling me hell yeah or hell no. I was smart about it though. I prepared myself for no. I knew that I gave 100% at the audition and it encouraged me to keep going with music where possible. I imagine I'll get dejected enough to join a church choir and listen to my ipod for the sermon parts.
Well I didn't cry or anything. But when I got the notification that I didn't get it, I'll admit I had a few "How dare they?I thought they liked me. I was born for this show." moments but I got over it once I actually went and saw the show.
Again, this face. They did a very good job for a community theatre production. The girl who got the part I was after was very impressive. There were a few things that bugged me here and there, but I'm very set in my ways in how some shows should be presented. But a good show and it looks like they had a blast.
Ok so that's out with. Maybe I can get back to writing in this damn thing, now that the grudge has lifted and Spring is here. Be back soon.
No comments:
Post a Comment