T-minus

Strange...the general consensus according to FB statii is that 2010 was a bad year. I hadn't even given it much thought. That kind of thing, a year in review just kind of sails over my oblivious head. It takes a social networking site to get me to think about something. Sad...oh so sad. I read two articles today about the year in review with regard to medical discoveries and regulatory affairs and that's about it. Only now, almost 3 hours before midnight do I start thinking about my own year in review.

2010... I lost my last living grandfather. That wasn't a good time, obviously. I started working at a new job in the gov't, am now on assignment in a different position, which I really like. I was asked if I was pregnant by 4 or 5 different people...that's always an embarrassing incident that puts a big smile on my face (NOT!!) I've been getting to know my kids' personalities and it's for the most part, pure comedy. I've been blogging rather recently and getting some stuff off my chest. I've made some really good friends via job.

I don't know...I can't say 2010 stunk, but it wasn't a bed of roses either. I hereby declare 2010 to be only slightly mediocre....but then again, what was I expecting?

This?

How about you?

Must you?

I tried writing this post a long time ago and kept it up for a few days but then felt bad in case the people I was talking about read this. I really don't like making other people feel bad. I do on occasion have moments of conscience and stop myself...

Until I recently added yet another narcissist to my friends list. I've officially had enough. Do I un-friend them? Disable my own account? No, I'll barf at their pictures and then blog about it apparently.

I get it, you lose a bunch of weight and obtain (and in some cases, regain) your hottie status. Fine. Take a few pics and we'll marvel at how awesome you look. But holy fucking fuck, we don't need to see a whole album dedicated to your beauty.

This is my standard face. I usually have this face or a goofier version:

I try to leave it at that but I have this stupid webcam built into my laptop. It irritates me. It stares me in the eye constantly. I then make goof shots.
Like this.

God I hate that stupid duck face and sideways peace sign!!!!!

Or this:

THESE people just have to do this:



Yes, please just post the same picture over and over again with different poses. Hell, change your shirt, I don't care. I really want to see that same mug in every flipping picture. Man I hate facebook. I'm just going to hide everyone.

Honestly...if you lost a few pounds or got a new hairdo or had your makeup professionally done, post a pic, I want to see. But I don't want to see your pubic region, your model photos, your standard 'fuck me' face, a thousand photos of you by the xmas tree with the same facial expression, the only thing different are the people placed behind you or placement of gifts.

There. I made you look at me all through this post. omgzzz  Excuse my beauty.

*Cue cheesy Paul McCartney Xmas song that I can't stand*

I’ve never spent Xmas day anywhere other than my parents’ house. When I lived in Toronto I’d always come home for a visit and revel in being babied. My mom and dad are the shit. (That’s a good thing, Mom, if you ever read this). I just love being with my family around the tree. Now the new generation is here and the torch passes…we watch the kids open gifts while we ooh and ahh over household appliances and stuff kids find utterly boring. I remember questioning my parents’ sense of adventure whenever they’d buy each other a Celine Dion cd or Reba McIntyre’s autobiography (I read that one out of boredom when I was 12. You should read it while listening to banjo music, trippy stuff I bet)
Two Xmases ago I was pregnant and I stayed overnight as I knew that that would be the very last time I would stay overnight on Xmas eve at my parents’ place. My mom gave me two teddy bears for the twins (when they were born, obviously). Sometime after they were born I dressed the teddy bears in onesies that the twins wore as newborns and now they sleep cuddled up to them.

I suppose that this Xmas will be a lot of fun for the kids. We got them some pretty fun stuff and I hope that any ‘singing’ toys they get will have a large repertoire because I’m getting a rash from listening to Old MacDonald in different versions on every toy. Play me some of the bands that play on Yo Gabba Gabba. I swear that show was created just for me.

Of the top ten gifts I’ve had for Xmas in my whole life, they are as follows, in no particular order:

1) Purple and pink Popple

2) Meghan, a fuck-ton of My Little Ponies and the singing stage

3) Laptop computer (Wayne went a little overboard)

4) Acoustic guitar

5) Electric guitar

6) Jem and the Hollograms (any doll)

7) Great Shape Barbie (this was my first Barbie. Now they’ve updated it and brought it back. I’m so glad Toy Story 3 had her in that outfit. Now I’ve bought it for Rayna when she’s older. It’ll be HER first Barbie. And so the circle goes…)

8) A really sweet dvd player when the were still pretty new.

9) L7 cds (I wasn’t getting my angst out properly. These cds were a crucial tool in my formative years.)

10) Money has to go on here because I never have any.

Ok maybe that was lame, but I’ve had some pretty spoiled moments. 1, 2, and 6 all happened on the same Xmas. The laptop was probably the craziest one though. I wonder what my kids are going to be into. Anyone remember this doll?  http://www.inthe80s.com/toys/maxidolls0.shtml

May you have a fruitful Xmas, don’t drink too much, you might hit on a relative during the festivities. Be excellent to each other. Love.

Rayna will never have a haircut.

I am not typically your run of the mill girly girl. I had to work on the personality because the looks were very slow coming growing up.  My mother thought it would be a good idea when I was four years old, to cut all my hair off and keep it that way until I had a nervous breakdown. My hair is thick. It is as thick as a piece of rope that they use for the indoor jungle gyms that they use in elementary school gym class. If you keep that kind of hair short, it naturally assumes a troll dolll-variety style and there is absolutely no styling that can be done. It rejects products like mousse or gel. Burden a small child with that haircut before she even starts school is devestating. My mother feels bad, I know this, but she probably won't admit it.

I wasn't even given a chance. On my first day of school I was ostracized by one girl because I looked funny and it filtered down to all the other girls. Thank god I had the other Andrea. She was my one friend through it all. Eventually more came around but it was tough.

Then I was asked on a weekly basis (at the very least) if I was a boy or a girl. Did the dress not tip you off, kid? Eventually I just gave up and assumed the role of tomboy and that was that. I played with He-Man as well as She-Ra, I collected Ninja Turtles, and I played fort games with the boys. But imagine how that fared once I discovered that I had a crush on a boy. Would he want to be the boyfriend of a girl who looked like a boy? Unless he was coming to terms with his own sexuality-probably not- but I digress. I was an ugly duckling and even the grow-out stage of my hair was brutal. I noticed the other girls in my class would get these amazing perms and voila! their hair grew even longer. I figured the secret to growing long hair was to get a perm. My mom shelled out the fifty bucks for this and when they took all the curlers out, instead of luxuriously long tresses magically appearing, Debbie Gibson eat your heart out- I was staring at Joanie from the later episodes of Happy Days...or David Hasselhoff in Night Rider if you want to be a dick about it. Awkward.

I was envious of long hair for literally all of my elementary school years. It really shaped who I was. I had to work extra hard at getting attention in different areas so kids wouldn't focus on how weird I looked. I would blurt out the stupidest things (that hasn't changed) in an effort to divert attention from the fact that I looked like Jonathan Brandis' younger brother. It didn't help that I had an older brother who got off on tormenting me and calling me Tina Turner because I had "biiiiig hair". I even found myself feeling strange for wearing a dress...like I would "out" myself of being female.

Anyway eventually I grew that shit out into one length. Once I achieved that, I grew it until it hung down to my ass. I think I had a point...I had a point...the point is that I can usually tell if someone was pretty when they were in their formative years. Usually if they are bubbly and just the right amount of dumb, I can envision a pretty little girl with hair as long as Rapunzel. When I meet a jaded, cynical yet intelligent individual I have to stop myself from asking if they went through the ugly duckling phase too.

Now be nice...

"I'm sorry ma'am, that particular item is not available at this time. I'm so sorry for any confusion the flyer may have caused"

*woman stares for an excrutiating amount of time, either not believing what you're telling her or in hopes that if she stares long enough you'll produce the item out of your ass*

"If you like, we can call you when it arrives and put one aside"

*cue bitch rant and childish flounce*

Sound familiar?

I'm not the only who feels this way, but I truly think that every person should have a mandatory year working in customer service. Maybe then they'd see reason and treat the clerk/cashier/sales rep/waitress etc. much kinder and stop acting like entitled asswipes.

Seriously, the worst job I ever had was at a grocery store. The town in which I grew up used to be quite sleepy and country-bumpkin like. All of a sudden rich people started sniffing its ass, ripping up the forestry and building cookie cutter box houses faster than I could count. Gone was Stittsville, now it was Fake Tittsville.  I was not only working in my now "pseudo chic, THE place to live, hoity toity Desperate Housewives wannabe" town, but I had to serve the spoiled, useless, poodle-esque lazy ass trophy wives that came with it. It would be 10:30 on a Wednesday and I'd have Leona Helmsley's ugly sister yelling in my face over the price of squash. Did she not have a job? Did she not have anything better to do than to risk her blood pressure over a piece of veg that she would probably only use as a facial mask? I'd often get what I call "The stare" (see above) and it would make me CRAZY. I'd almost prefer blatant, hostile belligerence.  I'm not sure if it was lucky or not that my boss was extremely lenient and let me get away with some of the shit I did but I certainly was not known for taking any kind of crap lying down. I could be as much of a bitch right back. Hmm really...I do think tomatoes belong at the bottom of a bag of cans.

But "the stare"...I got that one everywhere I worked in the service  capacity. At the insurance company I worked at, someone thought it would be a good idea to have a walk-in service where insured members could get their money 'on the spot'. Oh yeah, great idea... "I'm sorry but your "device" to make your vagina tighter isn't covered by your plan." *cue stare* Seriously, why do people do that? While she stares, I imagine she's trying to remember the words to the theme song for The Facts of Life, she just looks so idiotic. I stare back. She finally cracks. "Why not?" (Really??)  "Umm...because Kegels don't cost anything?" She stares again. I stare back. She then starts getting really snotty and it takes everything in my power to refrain from laughing after she starts in on threatening to 'go public' about it. Yes, tell the Public Citizen about how your insurance company won't pay for your vag tightener. Just because your shyster physiotherapist recommended it, it doesn't mean it's covered.

And that's just a taste of the treasures I've met in my customer service travels. And now I see it when I myself am a customer. I guess the former cashier/waitress/insurance assessor in me just has to come to the rescue at times and I find myself saying to the woman frothing at the mouth because her card was rejected that she needs to stop and that she's being ridiculous. (I'm going to get shot someday).

To the point, I realize things are crazy during Xmas. Lines are huge, stores are understaffed in some places, parking is scarce. Understandably tempers are running high. Please remember that the person serving you is a human being with feelings and while you may be frustrated, it's probably not their fault. (Of course there are assholes, I was one of them). Keep your cool, be an adult, don't be a spoiled bitch, accept that some things are not possible and the customer is 99% of the time WRONG. You will find that the nicer you are, the further they will go to help you. Manners go a long way.

That said, I no longer work in customer service, I feel that I did my time but I will never forget where I came from, what I went through and how ignorant and childish "the stare" is. I'm almost over-nice to my server but that would be better than acting like an immature idiot. Stay classy, folks. Merry ho ho!

Sit on your hands, think happy thoughts and shut your fucking mouth

So I realize that the posts are becoming more and more sporadic...and that's ok, it means that nothing's really pissed me off lately but there are times when a build-up is established and I HAVE to spill it.

Let's discuss impulse control.

I can't quite say whether or not I have any but I can definitely realize when other people require it. You meet someone in a wheelchair and within ten seconds of meeting you potentially blurt out "What happened to you?" You see someone you work with talking to someone else and their gaze barely glances at you. You potentially go apeshit and fire off a nasty email assuming they were talking about you. Or you're like me and you can't keep the dick and fart jokes to yourself and only too late realize who is actually in on the conversation.

Facebook is the WORST for impulse control. Oh hello there, narcissist. I just wrote something really nasty in your 600th picture of your new haircut and then erased it before pressing enter. Oh hello, born again Christian, I was just going to post a TED Talks on atheism on your site just to be an asshole...but I didn't.

And impulsively my significant other just joked along with whatever video he's watching on spikedhumor.com...and quite loudly.

This post is mediocre...and I'm fighting the impulse to delete it.

Familiarizing myself with where I'm going with this rant of a blog and this is a run-on sentence

You're going to find that I will be preachy as this blog progresses, so I recommend discontinuing readership if you don't want to hear about shitty things. I read a lot of news from many different resources (and what do you know, I do that as part of my job too). I have to know what's going on in the world at all times it seems. I have to smirk slightly when I come across an article that says one thing, and then in another resource I read an article completely contradicting all of the 'facts' in the first one. "AIDS is decreasing, new pill found to prevent infection." / "HIV rates worse than ever. Pills won't work, scientists say." Who do you believe?

I read an article today that pretty much mirrored my exact gripes.

Dumb and getting dumber

http://www.ottawacitizen.com/life/Dumb+getting+dumber/3881124/story.html

Anyway, my daughter just woke up, she's downstairs out of bed and I completely lost my train of thought. Gaa. I'll write more later.

This broke my heart clean through.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-11814300

I intended to write about this when I found time. I still can't do it. I want you to read it, digest, and ponder. Then I want you to reflect on this poor person who was the victim of very unfortunate circumstances and an uneducated 'expert'. You can't shape someone into what they weren't meant to be. You can't force anything on anyone and have it turn out okay. The triangle shape does not fit through the circle slot. When I read things like this it convinces me even more that we are all just worm food when we die. And I wish it weren't so.

What really fucks me up

I had an entire entry planned. I had written quite a large paragraph. Then I thought better of it and deleted it because I simply don't want to share that kind of thought with anyone. All I will say is that this is a fucked up world, I fret about things that probably won't happen, and I'm an emotional wreck since having kids.

I can't watch anything without getting upset. I loved that movie, Paranormal Activity but I absolutely refuse to see PA 2 because there's a baby involved. I know what happens and that it's not real, but I'm afraid it'll fuck me up badly. But there's also a curious side to me...I have to see what happens because maybe subliminally I get a kick out of losing another piece of innocence. (The 1 Guy, 1 Jar incident still burns fresh in my mind. Don't watch it!!!) But where I used to sit stoically watching, I've found myself sitting there, bawling my eyes out uncontrollably and despairing over the fate of a character in a movie. My boyfriend gets so annoyed by this as you can imagine. (The Lovely Bones was a whole different ball game).

Maybe it's stress and the only way I can let it go is through crying when Wayne informs me that Astro Boy was created to replace a scientist's little boy who was blown up in an accident. I really can't help it.

I can relate to this chick...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_K4mAD8xnc

I think I grew up with a very naïeve impression of the world. I used to think when I was little that if someone broke into my house while I was home alone, they'd just leave and not hurt me or take anything. Now the news tells me otherwise. I'm long jaded and I wish I could go back to the blissful ignorance of being uninformed and unscathed. And to the people making shock vids, they are too funny and disgusting. Please stop.

Because it's all I know

People ask me constantly "How do you do it, managing with twins?" and I can't really process what they're asking me. I get very cavalier about it and act all "Shit, I composed a symphony last night, off 2 hours of sleep, drunk, while writing a trigonometry exam. It was the best thing to be heard in a thousand years AND I got an A+ on the exam." The truth is, it's all I know.

I only know what it's like dealing with two babies screaming in your ear, refusing to nap. barfing all over their beds, sneaking up the stairs when you're not looking, eating dirt, slapping you in the face, driving you to the loony bin muttering musings of selling children to gypsies. But I only know what it's like having two insanely sweet babies with insanely cute smiles. People often comment that it must be awesome, getting it done in one shot and they're correct. The truth is, I hated being pregnant. Some women love it so much that they refuse to stop having babies *cough* Duggars! *cough* ...Or they just really like sex and don't like contraception. I was sick for 5 1/2 months, I was jealous of those who used scooters, I was exhausted. I would never go through that again. I also get to experience the terrible two's only once (though double over).

To be honest, I can't imagine what it must be like only having one baby. Only buying enough diapers for one, only putting one to bed, only giving one bath, only making enough food for 3, only paying daycare for one. It's crazy. You parents of singletons have got it fucking made! Ok rant time. Don't bitch about your only child screaming in the middle of the night. Imagine one baby screaming in the middle of the night, waking you out of a dead sleep...and also waking up the other baby. Both screaming. Who do you get first? You can't grab both, you'd break your neck going down the stairs. You take whoever is more frantic, go downstairs, place them on the couch with a drink of water, ditch them for the other baby, lather, rinse, repeat. Then change one bum, then the other. So how do you bring one up while the other still needs you? Wake up your spouse. If you're not sleeping, neither are they.  Okay it's not that bad but it's happened.

Right now I'm listening to my daughter cry in her bed. I've got an anxious, almost panicky feeling. Don't..wake...the...other...baby! This is normal...and probably terrible for my blood pressure. I snap quite a lot easier than I used to. I get quite snarly with my boyfriend. He snarks back. I take it personally. Then after childish outbursts we make up. Yay parenthood! This is all I know.

But let me add that my parents have been an absolute godsend. Without them, we'd be completely broke and would never have any kind of social life or even see a movie or anything. Their generosity has brought me to actual tears on occasion. I am so lucky and I know it. And the twins just love them to bits right back.

But I wouldn't give any of it back...it's an otherwise awesome ride. I manage with my life, having twins because I have to. What am I going to do, not change their diapers? Give them cigarettes? Feed them sugarcube sandwiches? I'm not going to be one of those epic fail parents. And if the kids end up being weirdos, I'll blame it on the boyfriend.

<3

It gets better...

Oh there's my soapbox. Let me just get on up there...

I can't tell you how happy I am to see the "It Gets Better" campaign in full swing. The bullying against children based on their sexual orientation or because they're 'different' has finally reached crisis status in the eyes of N. America. Several kids have killed themselves because their schoolmates and peers were making their lives hell. Now that kids are dying, the world is responding. And you can bet I'm pretty disgusted that it took suicide to get peoples' attention.

In a world that boasts itself of modernity, looking forward, progressing, evolving (ok maybe not in Kansas), and learning from the past, we really are backwards in so many respects. Ok women got the vote, non-caucasians can sit where they want on the bus, it is now 'developmentally delayed' as opposed to 'retarded'. But how is it that a woman can marry the Berlin Wall, another can marry a dolphin, but two people of the same gender can't get married? What threat does this exactly pose on heterosexual people? Are they afraid that the world will 'turn gay'? Does it simply go against THEIR personal beliefs? How arrogant! See, this is why I hate most people...they think their own way is the only way. And if they say that the bible forbids it, to that I say Go. Fuck. Yourself. You can't base every rule, every theory, every law on a book that was written 1600 years ago by people who had their own agenda and used the book to further their own cause.

If you have children of your own, think about this. Your son or daughter goes to school, the other kids in their class snicker, point, whisper to each other and alienate them during class. The bell rings. At recess they corner the child, poke fun, maybe even get violent. And the child doesn't understand what they did or why the others are being this way. You love your child and you want to give him or her the best life possible but others are making their life hell because of who they are. And no matter how much reassurance that you give, your child is always going to doubt it because they know firsthand how cruel children can be. Oh it makes me sick. Kids shouldn't have that kind of stress.

And if you think that your kid isn't watching and learning when you're sitting there laughing at the designers on the house & home channel, commenting on how faggy they are, or hearing your jokes every time kd lang is on the station playing while you do your shopping, you're wrong. They hear you. They pick it up. They see that you don't approve of something and they take it with them. And don't you dare laugh it off and say "I'm not homophobic. I have gay friends." Well you're not much of a friend, are you? Stop the prejudice before it starts because it could be another little boy or girl taking their lives because of the snark you instilled in your own.

Thank you for reading, whoever you might be.

Umm...what?

http://www.ottawacitizen.com/news/court+peeks+into+bedrooms+nation+with+sexual+consent+case/3785741/story.html

What an unusual thing to read in the news...a woman took her former long time partner to court because he put a dildo in her butt while she was passed out due to him choking her during sex. The choking was with her consent but the bum stuff wasn't. Now the question is, was it rape?

Sighhhh people. I tell you, this is why things like "Safe words" were invented. If you want someone to choke you, you'll probably pass out. If you pass out, your partner can dance a jig on your forehead, dress you up like a gorilla and call you Daisy and you'd be none the wiser. You have to be specific with these kinky tendencies. If you say "I want you to choke me" you have to add "and not put things in my orifices, or do anything gross, or do anything I would normally say no to, and especially not assume that I'm going to like what you would be doing" -cuz if you don't, you're probably going to wake up with things in your butt.

Obviously I am going to say that if a person doesn't give you the go ahead to do something, you probably shouldn't...especially if they're passed out. That's just depraved and sick. Seek help. Now.

To flip the coin because I'm an asshole, she was using this as leverage in her custody battle for their child. So who the flip knows...

Why I'm scared of ghosts

I love Hallowe'en. I don't watch that much television beyond kid-centric shows on Treehouse and Destroyed in Seconds while I wait for the kids' bedtime. But I actively look for scary movies during the spooky week of the occasion. The Exorcist creeps me out, the original Amityville still makes me think I see red glowing eyes out the window at night, hell we got desperate and watched Poltergeist II a few nights ago. "Why dontcha come with meee?" On Hallowe'en night after putting the kids to bed and disabling our doorbell from trick or treaters (we were too generous with the candy...ran out) I felt like watching a movie  besides one of the Halloween flicks or Friday the 13ths, so Wayne put on Paranormal Activity.

Ok...Ewwww! That movie fucked me up. I couldn't sleep that night. I had to make sure that my foot was on Wayne's leg at all times so I could have the reassurance that he was there. I kept replaying the heavy footsteps up the stairs turning into a run and then a door slam; I kept seeing the ending...we watched a version that can only be found online, so the ending was a lot more subtle but believable than what was shown in cinemas. I can take most horror films in stride but this one was my worst nightmare.

I don't know how I feel about ghosts, whether they exist or not but the idea terrifies me. I'm the biggest sucker at haunted walks. I was staring into the reputedly most haunted cell at the Ottawa hostel, just itching to see some dirty dead guy appear out of thin air and say something like "Boooo" or "I can smell your ****" .  I of course didn't see anything but a bunch of doors slammed violently at the Col. By museum later that night.  Anyway, I had a few incidents in my old apartment in Toronto...waking dreams, a presence visiting me in my sleep on a constant basis. It was odd. I had a feeling when I moved in that there was something there but I wasn't 100% sure. Then I had a dream one night (very vivid, I was completely lucid, wide awake in a dream) that I was in my parents' basement and I saw someone on their stairs in the corner of my eye. I just instinctively *knew* it was the spirit in my apartment. I got very frightened and woke myself up before he could engage me. And this continued on once a week or so for several months. One night I was in bed, crying for some reason and I felt someone squeeze my hand. No one was there. Every time I had one of the dreams, I could sense this entity just wanted to talk to me, make no harm. But I chickened out every time. Over time I started feeling a little less uneasy about it, I even felt sorry for the entity. But I didn't like the idea of being haunted.

I was at a bar one night and saw one of my housemates from the 3rd floor there and invited her to sit with me. It took a few drinks but I finally brought up the subject of the ghost. I asked if she'd seen anything funny because she actually used to live in my apartment years before. She got really excited and said "You've seen him too?" The fact that she knew he was male was unsettling...then we compared notes. I remembered from seeing him on the stairs in that first dream that he had dark hair, was in his late twenties/early thirties, good looking, and had a kind face. (Damn, why couldn't he be alive? He comforted me in my emo-ness) and she confirmed all those details. Her roommate actually saw him in a mirror while she was doing her hair, they'd feel his presence from time to time, etc. Then she told me her own experience...she never saw him but one night they were cooking and disabled the smoke alarm. That night when she went to bed she heard his voice, clear as day: "Fix the smoke detector" She, obviously scared shitless just whispered that she would fix it first thing in the morning.

I wondered who he was and what he wanted. I knew somehow that his name was Chris...it was the only name that would be agreeable to the thought (and trust me I went through a lot of names and he didn't agree with any of them in my mind) I tried to be brave and face him during the 'dreams' which were escalating and becoming much more frequent. But it became clear that I was never going to be brave enough to even look at him. I vocalized one night "Please stop trying to speak with me. I'm too scared to talk to you. I'm sorry, I wish I could help you but I'm too afraid. Feel free to stay, but let's just 'co-exist' without the creepiness." And that was seriously the end of it. I never had another waking dream again. Not. a. one.

I guess if ghosts do exist, I got lucky. It could have been some creepy restless spirit or a demon. I contacted The Toronto Ghosts and Hauntings Research Society and shared my story with them. I didn't want them to publish it though as I didn't want to bring attention to the house and possibly piss Chris off. They in turn, did some research on the house and couldn't find any information about anyone dying there. I still wonder who he was.

Point of the story (is there EVER one with me?) I'm scared of ghosts...Paranormal Activity scared me. I would totally watch it again, too.

Food for thought or a mind fuck as it were?

I had an interesting thought this weekend while discussing Jehovah's Witnesses with my friend and her boyfriend. According to the book of Revelations, 144,000 Christians will be the only ones to make it up to heaven. Only 144,000. My thought was, is it a first come, first served thing until the last slot is filled or does everyone have to wait in an afterlife limbo until the world ends, *everyone* dies, and the lucky souls are hand picked? If it's the former, Christians today are getting fucked up the ass. People who died in the very beginning had a much better chance of getting in than someone now. For all we know, there are 144,000 souls up there already congratulating each other on getting in. Tense thought...kind of like getting into Harvard.

I don't feel like wikipedia-ing to find out the stance on that one. I'll leave you to mull this one over.

Why don't you assholes get together and feed each other?

Wayne and I just realized that we finally got a break. An indirect one, but a break.

Let me preface this by saying that we have absolutely rotten luck. When we lived in the Glebe in a very tired and old building, something was always needing replacing. After maybe 70 years without superficial update they decided to redo the windows and balconies. Go figure all of this went on during my 1 week vacation to unwind and de-stress. I was not pleased. And I could have done a better job...All of Canada's Worst Handyman candidates must have been all on one construction crew.  When I found out I was having twins we realized that "Oh darn, we'll have to move". We considered a larger apartment but came to our senses while the housing market was reasonable.

After a few months, I began to miss my old neighbourhood, the supposed bodega down the street, the view of Dow's Lake, close to Preston St...every now and then we'd drive by hoping to get a glimpse of some of the weirdos who hung out in the front entrance. Oh well...

Today I met one of my sis-in-law's friends (I swear I'm getting to the point) who currently lives in the same building. Apparently this past summer the electricity shut down and the back up generators were dead. This was in the middle of a heat wave. Then the hot water heaters committed suicide so it was nothing but ice cold showers. An optimist would think that would alleviate the lack of electricity but I still say it sucks. I can't imagine how we could have coped if we'd stayed there with the kids.

Anyway we caught a break...all this shit when down AFTER we moved.

The best part? As a thank you to the tenants for all their patience and understanding throughout the clusterfuck, they offered a POTLUCK supper!!! Yes, please come to our party and feed yourselves! Hilarious.

Can't say I'm not open-minded...

My friend at work can cook. Really well. She brings in some of the yummiest stuff. She submitted a dish she had never made before (jambalaya) for an international cuisine luncheon at work today. She asked me to help her carry some stuff to the place where it was held. I brought it over with her and I got a sneak peek at the dishes being served. It was a buffet of food from all over, though there were many many African  and West Asian dishes. Everything looked so good so we decided to split on a ticket. We were looking forward to trying all this exotic food and vowed to at least attempt to get something from every dish, pick away at it and expand our horizons.

Well!

I guess I had good intentions...I tried absolutely everything on my plate and I had at least 10 countries on there...took a bite, put the rest to the side...I think I was relieved when I dug into the jambalaya. Don't get me wrong, I can totally see why some people love "ethnic" food, I do to some extent but it really wasn't for me. But I am glad I tried.

In other news...

I have high hopes for other things on my agenda...I think I need a little luck.

Beware the troll

Kenneth, if you are reading this, you are not allowed to troll my blog. If you do, I shall take your chest hair and dread it to your arm hair and you will be as vulnerable as can be.

That said, two friends from work and I have been joking about starting a podcast...it would probably only be funny to the three of us but I still think it would be amazing. A genius comedy trio.

This post was completely useless but I couldn't think of anything else to write...meh.

Still without cause for blogging but am doing it anyway

Some people where I work were talking about costumes for Hallowe'en and how funny it would be if some employees dressed as other employees. Someone might be "me", and I think that's the coolest and funniest thing. Unfortunately I'm in too deep with my costume. It will either end up epic ftw or epic fail. We shall see...

I'm currently reading a book on the War of the Roses by Alison Weir. It's almost like a history text but it "humanizes" those involved. I couldn't for the life of me give you a precise date but I can name most dukedoms by the surnames of the dukes themselves. I like to geek it out on my free time I guess. I always wanted to study Medieval history, thinking that it would take me to ruins all over England, Wales, France etc. Realistically though, I'd be looking at a clerical job in the basement sorting documents. HEY guess what I do? I have a clerical job but it's not in the basement. Maybe I should have gotten that degree...oh wait, it was in Theatre (playwriting). I don't regret ignoring my parents' suggestion to take something more practical and minor in theatre. I did something I loved and learned some skills so that if / when I ever do get back into writing, I'd know where to start.

So...where do I start?

My most dangerous past-time

Yes, thinking. I had a blog that I pretty much just deleted. Looking at it later I realized that I don't want a "Dear Diary" blog. I always go back and read what I wrote and look at myself and realize that I'm an asinine obnoxious person. I'm okay with that if you are, but I don't like to make it terribly public.

But I would like to blog about something! I'm not sure what...I don't want to bore anyone with what I had for lunch and omgzzz some chick wore a fanny pack today nonsense.

Does anyone want to read a blog about a girl who originally didn't plan to have kids but had twins? Too lame? Too TLC channel?