It seems like 20 years since those days when I lived on Holmwood, came home at 3am after a bender at the Dom, dating characters who should have been on a reality show, and relishing in the child-free life I led. My life was awesome.
Oh well.
Today was the twins' 2nd birthday party. I thought 2 would never arrive. Now we can actually take them places and I won't have a nervous breakdown, worrying about how many meltdowns could potentially happen. Well I'll *always* worry about that but at least I know they now realize what's going on around them a little more and they can enjoy things more cognizantly. I can't handle the public meltdown thing. I get extremely agitated and go into 'flight' mode and I just want to run away from the entire situation. But we took the kids to Cosmic Adventures on their bday and it was 99% stress free and I really needed that.
I can't believe it was two years ago when I was sleeping from 8pm to 12am, then from 5am to 6am and then up the rest of the day. Wayne slept from 12am to 5am (sometimes he slept in, wouldn't stop snoozing the clock, I had a baby on my lap and couldn't go get him, and I'd end up crying) then he'd nap for an hour when he got home. MAN that sucked. I thankfully had my parents helping me for the first two weeks during the day but after that I was on my own. On more than one occasion I'd phone my dad at 7am absolutely begging him to come over so I could sleep. I thought I was going to snap. We eventually found some night time sleep...I remember that night because I thought I was getting up at midnight but Wayne informed me they were asleep...so I got to sleep another 2 hours...then it got better...
I really don't miss those days...I was sitting outside in my backyard last night, enjoying the mild air and I began to remember why I didn't miss them, besides the obvious lack of sleep. During those first few months when I was up all night with the kids, I'd go out back for a smoke (I quit when I was pregnant but started up again. I've since quit) and I'd look at the houses around me, the stars above and I would miss who I used to be, what I used to do. I missed Wayne. While we lived in the same house, we only really saw each other in passing in those days. I'd have to say that those were some of the loneliest days of my entire life. I had two babies, but they were so young there was nothing beyond feeding, burping, rocking, and snuggling. If I didn't have the occasional outing with Cathy or Mimz I would have certainly gone off the deep end. Once the regular night sleeping came, our evenings started to free up a little and we could watch movies and go to bed at the same hour and for the same amount of time. We know each other again. People often credit me for raising twins but the credit really should go to Wayne, he's been such an amazing dad, really stepped up and I'm feeling incredibly lucky.
Now, I come inside from the backyard and my daughter (who should be in bed but is teething and stubborn) says "Hi Mom-MEE", spins in a circle and sings a song. Rideau St is far away. Watching Robot Chicken at 2am is ludicrous. I watch her spin her circles and realize that my life may be miles away from what I had envisioned, but it is nevertheless, just a different kind of awesome.
Oh well.
Today was the twins' 2nd birthday party. I thought 2 would never arrive. Now we can actually take them places and I won't have a nervous breakdown, worrying about how many meltdowns could potentially happen. Well I'll *always* worry about that but at least I know they now realize what's going on around them a little more and they can enjoy things more cognizantly. I can't handle the public meltdown thing. I get extremely agitated and go into 'flight' mode and I just want to run away from the entire situation. But we took the kids to Cosmic Adventures on their bday and it was 99% stress free and I really needed that.
I can't believe it was two years ago when I was sleeping from 8pm to 12am, then from 5am to 6am and then up the rest of the day. Wayne slept from 12am to 5am (sometimes he slept in, wouldn't stop snoozing the clock, I had a baby on my lap and couldn't go get him, and I'd end up crying) then he'd nap for an hour when he got home. MAN that sucked. I thankfully had my parents helping me for the first two weeks during the day but after that I was on my own. On more than one occasion I'd phone my dad at 7am absolutely begging him to come over so I could sleep. I thought I was going to snap. We eventually found some night time sleep...I remember that night because I thought I was getting up at midnight but Wayne informed me they were asleep...so I got to sleep another 2 hours...then it got better...
I really don't miss those days...I was sitting outside in my backyard last night, enjoying the mild air and I began to remember why I didn't miss them, besides the obvious lack of sleep. During those first few months when I was up all night with the kids, I'd go out back for a smoke (I quit when I was pregnant but started up again. I've since quit) and I'd look at the houses around me, the stars above and I would miss who I used to be, what I used to do. I missed Wayne. While we lived in the same house, we only really saw each other in passing in those days. I'd have to say that those were some of the loneliest days of my entire life. I had two babies, but they were so young there was nothing beyond feeding, burping, rocking, and snuggling. If I didn't have the occasional outing with Cathy or Mimz I would have certainly gone off the deep end. Once the regular night sleeping came, our evenings started to free up a little and we could watch movies and go to bed at the same hour and for the same amount of time. We know each other again. People often credit me for raising twins but the credit really should go to Wayne, he's been such an amazing dad, really stepped up and I'm feeling incredibly lucky.
Now, I come inside from the backyard and my daughter (who should be in bed but is teething and stubborn) says "Hi Mom-MEE", spins in a circle and sings a song. Rideau St is far away. Watching Robot Chicken at 2am is ludicrous. I watch her spin her circles and realize that my life may be miles away from what I had envisioned, but it is nevertheless, just a different kind of awesome.
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