What really fucks me up

I had an entire entry planned. I had written quite a large paragraph. Then I thought better of it and deleted it because I simply don't want to share that kind of thought with anyone. All I will say is that this is a fucked up world, I fret about things that probably won't happen, and I'm an emotional wreck since having kids.

I can't watch anything without getting upset. I loved that movie, Paranormal Activity but I absolutely refuse to see PA 2 because there's a baby involved. I know what happens and that it's not real, but I'm afraid it'll fuck me up badly. But there's also a curious side to me...I have to see what happens because maybe subliminally I get a kick out of losing another piece of innocence. (The 1 Guy, 1 Jar incident still burns fresh in my mind. Don't watch it!!!) But where I used to sit stoically watching, I've found myself sitting there, bawling my eyes out uncontrollably and despairing over the fate of a character in a movie. My boyfriend gets so annoyed by this as you can imagine. (The Lovely Bones was a whole different ball game).

Maybe it's stress and the only way I can let it go is through crying when Wayne informs me that Astro Boy was created to replace a scientist's little boy who was blown up in an accident. I really can't help it.

I can relate to this chick...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_K4mAD8xnc

I think I grew up with a very naïeve impression of the world. I used to think when I was little that if someone broke into my house while I was home alone, they'd just leave and not hurt me or take anything. Now the news tells me otherwise. I'm long jaded and I wish I could go back to the blissful ignorance of being uninformed and unscathed. And to the people making shock vids, they are too funny and disgusting. Please stop.